To: Lisa Hoberman
15 Cherry Way
Mason, OH 45040
This has got to be the worst of all the days, as evidensed by the fact I am writing you a POST CARD because there is no wifi in this gd place. Do you see the number of stairs? Look at that and hold your breath while you count to 5,000 and you will still not truly understand how freaking boared I am. My mom and dad made us climb this entire staircase and they did not even have snacks at the top. Guess what’s at the top? A bunch of people looking down. There was one boy and he was in a SUIT!!! WTF? OMG. Please call child protection services and tell them to look for my emashiated body at the bottom of the cliffs of whereever the F we are.
To: Cheryl Whitman
56 Criller Lane
Cincinnati, OH 41073
We are having a great time! The kids actually got away from their electronics and came for a hike. It took us about two hours but we made it to the top – the view on the back doesn’t do it justice – it was breathtaking! There was another family climbing at the same time as us, they had a son Kerry’s age and he was smitten with her – kept trailing his family talking to Rick, obviously so he could be near her, but she pretended not to notice him. I think she was embarrassed that she got sweaty on the climb up. Was I ever that obstinate? Don’t answer that. Anyway, Rick wants to celebrate tonight by taking us all out for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Good thing we are getting our exercise in – we’ve been eating like pigs!
To: Legal Dept ℅ Shauna Rittmer
Warren County Resources Board
52 West Highway 350
Cincinnati, OH 41073
Thinking of you! Let’s do our next team-building here!
Just kidding Shauna, we can’t afford it unless Mark gets the Oberman account out of bankruptcy. Ha Ha. See you all soon,
From: Jason Whetson
ICCC, Norway – National Conference
To: Mark Bickford
45 Placer Street
San Anselmo, CA 94960
Saw the enclosed postcard and couldn’t resist the banality. Please I beg of you put it on that cheesy bulletin board in your room like you know you want to. We spent the day here, although we were supposed to be at that International Fellowship event I told you about, quite a detour but well worth it. We met up with a gorgeous queen and his beard of a family. Will send pics later – hooking up tonight at dinner, I’ve promised him a real vacation in the bathroom. As brother John taught us last summer: Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Seriously, burn this after reading. You can keep the card tho.